I came across this article, “Marriage is a Mess And Homosexuals Didn’t Do It” by Rebecca Hamilton, and found myself saying “Amen” nearly all through it. Her writing forces our society to face the hard facts...homosexual marriage won’t do anything to destroy marriage that heterosexual marriage hasn’t already done.
Homosexuals didn’t set off the epidemic of divorce in this country. Homosexuals didn’t create the millions of feral children who spend most of their time alone, raising themselves on video games, drugs and interactions with their peers. Homosexuals don’t cheat on our spouses. Homosexuals don’t break into our homes and yell and curse at our families. They aren’t the cause of the rising number of unwed births and the global pandemic of abortion. We did these things. Marriage is a mess and it was heterosexuals who messed it up.
We live in a society where nearly 50% of marriages will end in divorce. That statistic is thrown around all the time yet for some reason we have not done much to change things. Looking around our country it is easy to see the damage that divorce leaves behind. If people are fighting so hard to keep the traditional definition of marriage in place, one has to ask, is it worth fighting for?
Christians want to say that the fight is to keep the Biblical definition of marriage in tact. Let’s be honest though, God’s intent for marriage has been falling apart since Genesis. Throughout history we have seen men marrying many women (Solomon anyone?), defile the marriage bed by sleeping with a concubine (Yep Solomon covered that too, but long before him Abraham did), and divorce their wives for a plethora of frivolous reasons. Even when Jesus was walking the Earth divorce was a serious issue. Men were cheating on their wives with prostitutes and young men. This is nothing new people.
I’m not say God’s definition of marriage should be tossed to the side and our government should change its laws. I am saying that we need to focus on marriage as a whole rather than attacking same-sex marriage as if it is the major issue. Divorce among Christians is a major issue. How can we as followers of Christ talk about what marriage shouldn’t be when our pews are full of people ignoring what God has called marriage to be?
But the truth is that serial monogamy is NOT monogamy. Serial marriage is not marriage between one man and one woman. And heterosexuals, especially Christian heterosexuals, have a responsibility before God to care for and raise their children, cherish their spouses and build enduring stable homes which can nurture a true family. Heterosexuals who have failed to do this are the root cause of most of the social problems we face today. They, not homosexuals, are the ones who have brought marriage to the sorry state it is in now.
It is time for us to step up and face the issues that heterosexuals have created. Lets acknowledge the fact that people are trading their spouses out like last year’s car once the new model hits the car lot. Let us focus on counseling struggling married couples in our church. Remove the word “divorce” from our vocabulary when giving advice to a sister or brother in Christ. Tackle the plague of pornography that is ravishing men in the pulpit and the pews. Encourage the singles in the Church who are trying to stay pure for their future spouse. We need to fix things from the inside out.
There is so much we need to be doing in our own backyard before we start trying to conquer the next issue. How can we stand before the World, say that same-sex marriage will ruin America, when issues in heterosexual marriage have already done just that? Why aren’t we out there trying to change legislation on no-fault divorce? Could it be because it is easier for us to stand up against something that doesn’t directly effect us?
We need to spend more time fixing what is wrong inside of the Church than we do speaking out against same-sex marriage. God’s plan for marriage needs to be honored by Believers so that we can show the World how truly wonderful His plan is. We need to show them what is so great about heterosexual marriage.
[And yes, this week I will be writing about how God’s plan is perfect & great]